Why is it that some people have trouble accepting acts of kindness?

Posted by admin | Self Improvement, fears, happiness | Monday 21 September 2009 2:08 pm

Why is it that some people have trouble accepting acts of kindness?

We all like to be appreciated, so why is it that some people have trouble accepting acts of kindness?

I recently witnessed a situation where a client had spent quite some time bitching about being taken for granted, she felt like she was the household slave to her husband and children, with a similar belief in her working environment. I was fortunate enough to witness one of her children say to her “Mum, you’re the best, I love you so much.” To which she immediately responded “What do you want?” sound familiar…….?

What is it that makes people so cynical?

· Is it the way you are bought up?

· Is it a reflection of your values and belief system?

· Is it that you are so busy that you don’t have the time to get to know people on a personal level before they are perceived and then judged?

· Or is it that you just don’t care about anyone but yourself?

If truth be known it is probably a combination of all the above. Should it be like that NO WAY? What can you do about it? There are lots of things you can do to change the way you react, but first you have to understand why you do what you do.

It is all in the way that you accept yourself. If you do not believe in yourself or believe that you are not worthy of thanks, then of course when someone gives you a compliment you would fob it off or be suspicious of their motives.

Grab a pen, paper and a cuppa and take a moment to write down the answers to these questions, be brutally honest with yourself:

· Am I aware that I react with suspicion when someone pays me a compliment?

· What makes me react this way?

· How long has this been happening?

· When did I first decide I was going to react in this way?

· What is this choice costing me?

· How would I like to react instead?

· What can I do to make the change?

· What would my life look like when I sincerely accepted acts of kindness?

When you have a sense of certainty about who you are and what you stand for, the decisions you make as a result of the choices presented to you take on an entirely different perspective. This is where your values come into consideration. I will discuss values in another article.

Awareness is the first step to change, being aware that you are ‘doing that old thing’. Once you acknowledge that you are doing a particular process the easier it becomes in determining why you do it, because your uncertainty about what is important to you will lead you to have feelings of doubt about your self-worth. Until you change this belief you will not be able to experience a profound level of fulfilment in your life.