Poor Communication is not a Disability 

Many of my clients say they are no good at communicating.  I challenge them to step out of their comfort zone and try different approaches to improve their communication skills.

After establishing why they consider they are not effective communicators, we set about planning our strategy for creating change.

In many instances I find that they have a limiting belief in themselves that holds them back.  If I was to determine the most common limiting belief associated with poor communication skills, it would be “I’m not good enough”, or “I am afraid of rejection”.  Feeling rejected is extremely common and when experienced on a regular basis can cause self-doubt and a lack of self-esteem, which is very destructive.

Some of my clients have talked themselves into believing that they are not good enough, some were not very good scholars, or they may have dropped out of school.  Some of them believe that if they don’t have a good education they won’t amount to much.  What they don’t understand is that some of the most powerful people in the world dropped out of school or have a very basic educational background.  John Travolta quit school at 16 and went on to make millions.  Sir Richard Branson was reported to have poor academic performance as a student, yet by the age of fifteen he had started two ventures.  Go figure! 

I am not saying this to impress you, but to impress upon you that some people use poor communication as a disability, a crutch, a reason to prove failure.  There are always two sides to a situation and it takes time for someone to admit that their limiting belief is not serving them.  It is like the baggage you carry around for years, it becomes part of you and you firmly believe you can’t survive or cope without it.  It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

I know that you are thinking: how do you get rid of a limiting or negative belief?  One of the answers is Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP).  NLP has been referred to as ‘the art and science of personal excellence’.  NLP is the study of excellence and a model of how individuals structure their experience.  Simply put it’s the science of language and communication.  In other words NLP is how to use the language of the mind to consistently achieve our specific and desired outcomes.

It will depend on what your limiting belief is and how you are dealing with it as to which NLP technique or combination of techniques I would recommend.

There is always a choice when it comes to how you live your life.  You can choose to have poor communication skills and struggle with what life brings you, or you can choose to make changes so that your communication with yourself and others improves to the extent that you are in control of your destiny.

Being an effective communicator takes real skill.  Communication skills have to be learned, developed, and practiced on an on-going basis.  They are the heart of interpersonal skills and the greater the awareness of how it all works, the more effective your communication.

If your choice is to change and become an effective communicator then I encourage you to read my other articles on communication as you will learn techniques designed to empower you towards success.

© by Vicki Williams, Director, www.coachingbyrovick.com.au

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